Relationships

So this weekend I went on a retreat with my youth group to a place in Conifer called Long Scraggy Mountian Ranch and it was freaking amazing. They flew in a couple from Washington DC to do a seminar on relationships. Let me tell you, this couple is the one of the greatest examples of a marraige that it is completely centered on God. When I get married, the two marriages that I want my marriage to look like is my parents marriage and this marriage of Dawn and Reggie Sanders. They are so happy and the best part about it, they have been married for only 18 months and they are already spreading the news on relationships, It's so amazing. They talked about 4 key components of any relationship. Talking, Intimacy, problem solving, and salvation, TIPS for short. In everything relationship, the one thing that all guys are guilty of is not talking with their spouse or girlfriend. The girl asks a question and we give them one word answers. What the heck? How can we have a relationship with the girl if we are not willing to TALK to them. We have to be able communicate with them or there is no reason to have a relationship with them. Every guy is guilty of this, even me and it's time that we step up to the plate and learn how to TALK to them. The next key component is problem solving. In every relationship, there is going to be a conflict and the key is learning how to handle that conflict. We have two ways of approaching this; one wrong way and one right way. The wrong way would be to blame the situation on the other person which in turn will just make the whole situation worse. Why is it so hard for us to say one simple word, SORRY. It's not going to kill us to say it. The right way is to talk to each other calmly and work your way through it without blowing it up. How amazing would every relationship look if we were able to calmly solve the conflicts without any arguing or criticizing. Not only does it work, but it also keeps the situation from getting one. My Mom and stepdad also do a great job of doing this. Yes they have conflicts but they know how to calmly work through it. Here's the truth, if the situation is not life threatening, there is no reason to act like it'a the end of the world and blow it completely out of proportion. The next component is intimacy ( yes I realize I went out of order lol) One thing that every girl needs is to know that they can feel secure around the man. If the woman cannot trust the man or does not feel secure around the man, the relationship will not last. The key to intimacy is being able to ask deep questions about each other. If both parties are willing to be vulnerable and open up, especially the man, that is a good sign of trust between both the man and woman. I realize that there are some aspects of both of their lives that do not need to be addressed but it is so important that both parties can trust each other. Without trust, the relationship will not go very far. The last key component of any relationship is salvation. Are both parties Christians and do they have the same beliefs. If you try to make a relationship with opposite views on religion or anything, it a red flag. When somebody has grown up with the same beliefs their whole life, it will be extremely hard to change them and because of it, the relationship will not function to its fullest potential. This is why it is so important that both parties have the same values, principles, and beliefs before entering any relationship. Without it, there will be conflicts everytime you turn around. I loved how Dawn and Reggie put it, if there are two many red flags in any relationship, the best thing to do is ROLL ON.